The NFL Gone Literary

It’s not every year that Studio 360 takes an interest in the Super Bowl. Then again, as Kurt Andersensays, it’s not ever year that we have a game “between a team named for an 1849 money frenzy and a team named for a poem by a frenzied writer whodiedin 1849.” Nice, Kurt.

360’s resident English-major-slash-pro-football-fan,John DeLorerevelsin the irony of “a professional football team named after a bird in a poem by a slender, alcoholic poet who died after being found face down in a Baltimore gutter.” Nice, John.

We asked you to come up with literary-themed names for the remaining 31 NFL franchises on Twitter, Facebook, and here on the site. As usual, you didn’t disappoint. In just a few days, we had enough names to complete our very own literary league. Thanks to all who participated! Now who’s ready to design logos and mascots?

Ladies and gentlemen, your Literary National Football League:

• Baltimore Ravens (citizens of Baltimore)
• Arizona Dry Heats (@KatyBran)
• Atlanta Scarletts (@PaulAlexander90)
• Buffalo Super Freaks (@mtsiegel)
• Carolina Wolfe-Pack (@_GregCollins)
• Chicago Jungle (@lasleyt, David Moon)
• Cincinnati Bumppos (@charlzr)
• Cleveland Dan Browns (@ZZRudin)
• Dallas Cowboys
  (@bartona104: “Dallas Cowboys stay in #NFLrenamedb/c 1. Novelist Ben Fountain 2. Notion of cowboys in Dallas already fiction.”)
• Denver Gonzos (@juliahenderson)
• Detroit Albom (@Baronness324)
• Green Bay Crossing Safeties (@ChemicalEyeGuy)
• Houston Liars (@bartona104)
• Indianapolis Tarkingtons (@Andrew_Milner)
• Jacksonville Stetsons (@ErikPetersen)
• Kansas City Cold Blood (@lasleyt)
• Miami Later and Probably Non-Canonical Wolfe Novels (@ErikPetersen)
• Minnesota Fats (@okrent)
• New England Patriotic Gore (@monfrat)
• New Orleans Dunces (@evanmather)
• New York Gatsbys (@jcervera17)
• New York Jets
  (@snatiabir: “Are you telling me that my beloved NY team isn’t a West Side Story reference? #stillaJetalltheway”)
• Oakland White Fangs (@jamesfinngarner)
• Philadelphia Stories (@esmithrakoff)
• Pittsburgh Wonder Boys (@bstephenson)
• San Diego Chargers of the Light Brigade (@nickfountain)
• San Francisco Dharma Bums (@nickfountain)
• Seattle Post Intelligencers (@ajds)
• St. Louis Prufrocks (@kbandersen)
• Tampa Bay Huckafinns (@ZZRudin)
• Tennessee Menagerie (@ChemicalEyeGuy)
• Washington Irvings (@chompyduchamp&@thatbilloakley)

Honorable Mentions:

• Chicago Hog-Butchers (@greenfield64)
• Chicago Big Shoulders (Garth Moore)
• Cleveland Splendor (Jason)
• Kansas City Papas (@ChloDubs)
• San Francisco Howlers (Ellen Kiernan)
• St. Louis Corrections (@dicebourbon)
• Tennessee Williamses (@okrent)
• Tennessee Loony Lawmakers (@katybran)
• Tennessee Holy Rollers (@katybran)